"Psychopomp & Circumstance" is a short story in the video game Shadows of the DAMNED. It can be found in the Violence section of the library during the stage "Ghost Hunter". The book tells the story of the Sisters Grim, demons in the City of the Damned who possess Blue Gems. Its title is a play on the phrase "pomp and circumstance," which refers to a formal celebration.
It was her turn to fetch the water, and Maras Grim was determined to be done with it as soon as possible. Bucket in hand, she made her way down to the well by the wheat field.
She and her two elder sisters were all beautiful, but on this windy day, Maras outshone them all. She was in love.
Whsssh. The wheat bowed a greeting as the breeze caught it. "And a good day to you," Maras giggled, as her nipples responded to the weather and thoughts of her lover.
She wound a pail of water to the top of the well, but no sooner had she grabbed the rope than she felt a sharp tug, lost her balance, and went tumbling into the gloom headfirst.
"Motherfudge! Motherfudge!" cried Maras.
"Help me" cried Maras from the bottom of the well. But as Kauline grabbed the rope to pull her sister up, she too was yanked into the darkness below.
"Au-Au! Go get help, boy!" cried Kauline.
"Au!" woofed Au-Au in response. But because he was a stupid collie, he instead grabbed the loose end of the rope and began to tug valiantly.
CRACK-A-BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Suddenly, a freak bolt of lightning lanced down from the sky and hit poor Au-Au, causing the pooch to explode in a crimson blossom of slippery Au-Au giblets.
Poor, stupid Au-Au.
It was well after dark, and Maras and Kauline had all but given up hope, when their eldest and wisest sister, Giltine, arrived on the scene.
"Where are you, sist- aaagh!" was all she managed to utter ere she slipped on Au-Au's unctuous leftovers and fell down, down, down into the wicked well. Plonkety rascal rabitness!
And with that, the Sisters Grim vanished from the world for seven full years.
When they returned, they served a new master who had been smitten by their beauty.
Though that beauty faded, his gift to them was theirs forever: the power to end lives as abruptly as fate had ended their own.
- When Johnson reads about Maras' nipples, he ponders the rating of this storybook.
- Reading how Kauline too fell into the well, Johnson utters, "Well that sucks."
- Johnson claims his pet was smarter than Au-Au, to which Garcia Hotspur beckons him to continue reading.
- Johnson mentions at the conclusion of the story that he had hoped the storybook would explain why the Sisters Grim sound like men.